Hello? Is it Tony you’re looking for? Here’s me and Lionel Richie this morning. I couldn’t just take a picture like a normal person, I had to try and be funny and whisper “Say you, say me…” meanwhile, I end up looking like I’m in the middle of a seizure. Too bad there’s not […]

  Most people look back at something lthey’ve written five years ago and think about how they’ve grown and matured, but I look back at this and think: I haven’t learned one damn thing! I’m still the same stupid ass I always was, if not worse because I’m now older and more set in my […]

  As I was sweating my balls off in this ungodly heat today on Metro North, I started dreaming of winter and how refreshing the cold weather can be and it made me think about a former colleague, Guillermo, and his winter wardrobe.     If you’ve never seen a hustlin’ seventies pimp in real […]

  Contrary to popular belief, I’m not a Spiritual Guru like Shri Shri Ravi Shankar or anything. I’m not looking to start an Imodium movement, but I just really believe that if you listen closely the universe will send you a message every now and then to make a dream come true. You just have […]

    With St. Patrick’s Day last week, I was thinking about sharing some stories about my lucky shamrocks, but as I was writing, I couldn’t help but think of my brother. Forget about Luck of the Irish, if it weren’t for bad luck, my brother Joey wouldn’t have any at all. Here’s a perfect […]

  I’ve told you about how great it is to be a regular and how nice it is to have people remembering you, but sometimes that’s not the case at all.         There was a little bodega run by a Chinese family across from work that I used to hit up every morning […]

“This year has been all about the Reds and it has nothing to do with Warren Beatty!”     The Oscars are finally here and I couldn’t be more excited. Just like all of you, I’ve been cramming in all the last minute nominated films and I could not be more pumped up about this […]

Originally posted on www.immodiumabuser.com:
Of all the questions that people ask me about this site, nine times out of ten there is some variation of “Your poor wife, how does she do it?” as the very first question. The second question is which is the best post to read if you’re new to this site and haven’t…

  My friend Michelle is really smart and we have a lot in common; we both worked for the same company, we both love the soundtrack to Begin Again, and we both think I’m one of the funniest people ever! I told you she was smart!!!   While that’s normally enough for to people to […]

    Rare is the occasion that I find myself taking up valuable real estate here in the Immodium Abusing landscape to talk about and promote someone else –  yet here we are!  I am literally Tickled like that new documentary that there’s a new book launching today called Seinfeldia by Jennifer Keishin Armstrong ( https://www.amazon.com/Seinfeldia-About-Nothing-Changed-Everything/dp/1476756104/ref=zg_bsnr_books_18). […]

  No, this post isn’t about pooping! Come on people, not every post is about that – give me some credit will you! I’m the number one Immodium Abuser, but it seems like you’re the one focusing on Number Two. When I say being regular, I mean keeping the same routine and eating the same […]

    They laughed at first because they didn’t understand or take him seriously, but Yoda proved to be a small force mightier than some of the toughest warriors. Such seems to be the case with Bernie Sanders, now doesn’t it? His powers have stormed the galaxy like a certain little green Jedi Master did a long time ago in a galaxy […]