Just for the Holiday Season: My Famous Baby Jesus Story

I wanna send a “What’s up big Perm, I mean Big Worm!” out with one of my favorite posts out to My Number One Fan (yes, in the Kathy Bates Misery kind of way) on the one year anniversary of the Day she birthed baby Dukes! It’s at these times of year when everyone gathers round the hearth and reminisces about the time she was patted on her backside at a wedding by an extremely old waiter (no judgement that she liked it-gotta take it where you can get it) or when she enthusiastically played “Hey Hooka how much?” with me. You’re a special kind of crazy and everyone knows how much I love and appreciate the crazy!!! Here’s to you and an amazing little peanut one year later!! Also, I was going to also send a shout out to her Moms as well, but I don’t want Poppy getting anxious and asking “what’s going on with you and ImmodiumAbuser on the internets” again!!! 🙂

So whatever you’re gathering around this week keep the real meaning of the holidays in your celebration and say a really nice little blessing for the selfless ones that bring so much joy to so many people around the world: the peeps that invented Imodium! Im so thankful because it’s enabled many a Christmas without cramping, Channukah without clenching and Kwanza without the Quick hitters!!! It’s a Festivus for the rest of us!!!


I am not one to start with a disclaimer, but this post might need one. Some people get really crazy about Religion and what should and shouldn’t be done with iconic religious figures, so let me say right now that if you are the type that gets easily offended by the inappropriate misuse of a religious figurine by an absolute moron – STOP READING THIS NOW! Otherwise enjoy and don’t say that I didn’t warn you…


As you get together this week and surrounded yourself with those animals that you call Dad or Mom or maybe they’re your brother, sister, or even the housekeeper serving dinner  –  remember the spirit of the Holiday Season and what it was intended to be about: The Baby Jesus! I’m not kidding – I’d like to share a little something that happened to me the year that a little plastic baby…

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One thought on “Just for the Holiday Season: My Famous Baby Jesus Story

  1. I will never be in the same league as, “Tony No Here”, and I can’t say I would ever throw myself to the ground sobbing hysterically if someone threw an albino baby Jesus at me, so to be honored in this way is simply incredible. There’s so many people I’d like to thank. My first grade teacher, Mrs. O’Connor for teaching me to read so I could partake in the joys of this blog and elevate myself to #1 Superfan. My oldest child, for staying up all night nursing and allowing me to binge read this blog when I first discovered it. My husband for staying with me despite my repeatedly waking him up at 3 a.m. laughing hysterically as I read and re-read my favorite posts. And, finally and most importantly, the slight chemical imbalance in my brain for always bringing just the right amount of crazy to the party.

    God bless the Baby Jesus!


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