rugby bulges

Taron gave me a lot of Eger-tention today!

/ www.immodiumabuser.com / 6 Comments

kim jong fun

 

You never know what people will like as you’re writing it; I’ve written things that I think are hysterical and gotten no response whatsoever but, today, I’ve gotten more love and page views than any other since I started this site in March of 2010. My CelebriTuesdays post on Taron Egerton was a hit I guess. I’d like to thank my loyal Immodium Abusers around the world like Annie Smack that Fannie, AJ, Don, Steve, and today especially, I want to thank all my South Korean Peeps! What up to all you crazy little souls out there in Seoul?

 

 

Today alone, there were almost 100 South Korean views – I’m assuming it’s the North Koreans rushing the border to get on non-restricted internet to sign up for my posts. Mention one little Fatwa from Kim Jong Un, and all of a sudden peeps are hopping the border to come check me out. Obviously, if I go missing tomorrow, someone should immediately call the Secret Service, but I’m seriously considering calling President Trump and offering my talents to replace Dennis Rodman as the new Peace Ambassador. I bet we can settle this nuke dispute over a few of my crazy stories and a couple of Imodium tabs? Sing it with me: “All we are say-ing, is give Imodium a Chance!”

 

globe

 

Most of my readers usually come from The United States, but today I was all over the globe: over 100 views each from Japan and The United Kingdom, but I see you peeps out there in Bangladesh, Serbia, and South Africa reading me too. I’m ready for my world tour like Eva Peron!

 

rugby.jpg

 

I can see the search terms people are looking for when they stumble upon this little site and the top two are usually rugby bulges thanks to my crazy friend Weezy and Mywifesmom.com thanks to my mother-in-law! Obviously, I’m not writing rugby or in-law porn, at least not yet (you can never say never), but my crazy little stories attract all sorts and show up in the craziest of places. Every once in a while,  I try to see how people reading my stuff found me and you can forget about rugby bulges and dirty pictures with my wife’s mom, I should have been writing about Taron Egerton all this time…

 

 

Still, that doesn’t explain my South Korean surge today, but I’ll take it. Years from now, we’ll probably find out I’m the Searching for Sugarman of South Korea! If you’re one of those crazy folks in Bulgaria searching for rugby bulges and this site shows up – you are certainly in for an unexpected treat! Obviously, I have a little work to do to up my anemic fan base in New Zealand, but come on – they’re still holding a grudge against me because I didn’t like the Lord of the Rings movies – you gotta let it go like Elsa, you crazy Kiwis!

 

 

Apparently, Taron Egerton doesn’t just play an international superstar in the movies – he really is. Separate from the people that liked and retweeted my original post, @DailyTaronNews retweeted me twice and then sent out my link to score me all kinds of love and over 115 likes – thanks guys! They’re the most up to date daily Twitter source for all things Taron and they obviously have great taste – Go follow them!

 

kingsman poster

 

Obviously, the next logical step is to have me play Friar Tuck opposite Taron’s Robin Hood…Let’s make it happen people because if you keep giving me this kind of affection – this site might turn into Full-time Taron Fan Fiction! While you’re here – follow the site so you never miss an update!

 

busey

 

It’s not how big your Glock is that matters, it’s where you put it!

/ www.immodiumabuser.com / 2 Comments

i love my glock

I know that some guys are only fixated on the size of their Glock and not too picky about where they stick it. Some are obsessed with their piece, but for those that are a tad more discreet about where they conceal their weapons – have I got news for you! The new locker room chatter isn’t about how big your Glock is, but the bolder the holder you’re packing it in!

Cover

I know what you’re thinking; maybe your pistol isn’t as big as mine. Have no fear my friend because no matter the size of your piece, we have something for you: UnderTech Undercover.com. I don’t usually do company endorsements, but had to make an exception just this once when I got their catalog in the mail today.

glock meme

No matter the occasion, UnderTech Undercover has something for you. Grandma’s got a birthday coming up? The Terrain Hobo Concealment Purse comes in Black, Brown, or Saddle! Your Mother got a promotion at work? How about the under desk concealment Plate? Your friend Jared got engaged? UnderTech Undercover giftcards are the perfect fit for any registry!

shorts

Ladies, I know that sometimes you want to be in charge and show him where to put his Glock – How about these black Travel Safe Short Shorts? You take control of that Glock and show Tony Danza Who’s the Boss! They come in Black or white in everything from extra small to extra large – just like the many sizes and colors of those Glocks you have in the nightstand next to your bed.

whos the boss

Let’s be honest girls, you know that one place you won’t let him ever put his Glock? Get him his own Thunderwear and you’ll never have that conversation again. The tagline says it all “These ain’t underwear, they’re Thunderwear!” The best part is that you can get Thunderwear in assorted sizes to conceal any Glock from a cute little mini one mini up to a large caliber barrel so you’ll find the perfect fit for your man.

thunderwear

Guys, aren’t you tired of buying her boring gifts she just doesn’t get excited about? Here’s a gift idea that’ll make you the hero – what woman wouldn’t rather get a pair of Black Concealment Short Shorts than jewelry or flowers? She’ll have all the girls at the gym jealous when they get a peek at her changing in the locker room.

short shorts

The website offers many more products and multiple shipping options so check them out and click here to have your own catalog sent. Taking care of your Glock is serious business, they’re not just for playing with anymore!

meme nightstand

More Rugby Bulges?

/ www.immodiumabuser.com / 10 Comments

underwear ad

Just thought I’d revisit what people are searching for when they find me and low and behold it hasn’t changed all that much. The most common search term is still rugby bulges.  Also many different forms of my wifes’s mom dot com and Imodium shortage and a couple of notable highlights were ebony-goddess testicle whip & diana vagina.

 

keyboard

 

Nice to see that no matter how much some things change – the basics stay the same!

 

Here’s the original post:

https://immodiumabuser.com/2010/08/18/rugby-bulges-lead-you-herenow-ive-heard-everything/

 

violinist

 

For all my homies to get to know mes

/ www.immodiumabuser.com / 2 Comments

hearye hearye

 

I posted this a few months ago for all the newbies – and it appears the time is ripe for it again. I’ve gotten a ton of new followers since then and I want to make them feel right at home and steer them down the right path. With so many posts on here, it’s hard to know where to start and unless you’re dedicated like Crazy-Annie-Smack-that-Fannie, you might not go back and start at the beginning to read them all…

Click here to start the ride and get caught up!

For all my Homies to get to know mes

/ www.immodiumabuser.com / 29 Comments


Of all the questions that people ask me about this site, nine times out of ten there is some variation of “Your poor wife, how does she do it?” as the very first question. The second question is which is the best post to read if you’re new to this site and haven’t had a chance to catch up on all the older stuff posted here. If you fall into the latter category than today is your lucky day!

I’ve created a list of what I think are the essential posts you MUST read in order to get to know this site. Others are really funny as well, but this is where you should start. These are in no particular order, just a random collective to get you up to speed. I must advocate caution while ingesting these posts, as some of them are really funny. In the lab, some of the test subjects were known to lose control of themselves while reading – so avoid liquids while consuming them at all costs!

As an added treat, I will be reposting some of the oldies in between new posts here on the site….if you’ve already read them, it’ll be a refresher. If you’re an Imodium virgin and this is your first time getting a piece – Enjoy it! If your favorite isn’t listed here, let me know in the comments which one you’d have picked…

 

When I was mistaken for a retarded person TWICE in less than a half hour!!!

Assaulting Tom Cruise-Part 1: Hit and run

Assaulting Tom Cruise-Part 2: Great, now Rosie O’Donnell thinks I’m a scumbag

Just for the Holiday Season: My Famous Baby Jesus Story

One of my many Ah-Shit Moments (Literally!)

Who does this shit happen to?

Like I’ve heard so many times before “Wow, That’s a long one!”

Wanna hear something ironic? Imodium AD actually tried to stage an intervention with me!!!

Our Honeymoon Part One: Ain’t no joke, our bed broke (Twice!!!) and I had to call a bloke who was sippin’ on a coke; All because I gave her a poke!

Our Honeymoon Part Two: Forget finger lickin’- my masseuse was testicle flickin!!!

Drop a note below and let me know which one is your favorite.

Rugby Bulges lead you here???Now I’ve heard everything

/ www.immodiumabuser.com / 8 Comments

So,

In the statistics feature on this site, I can see what people searched for on the internet to find my site. Some people see the link on Facebook and Twitter or get referred by Yahoo and Hotmail but yesterday, and I am not kidding, someone found my little immodiumabuser.com post while searching for “Rugby Bulges!!!”

I’m glad to know that my posts about Weezie have reached a broader audience but who knew it would have such widespread appeal!!! Also, is it weird if my first thought after seeing that was, “great, more people are reading my stuff” and the second thought was “I wonder if they liked it” and then I thought about what to have for lunch and then ate lunch and then complained because it wasn’t really what I wanted and now I didn’t feel well because I have a bad stomach and the choices of what I can eat are very bland and limiting and then like an hour later finally I wondered: Why is someone searching for “Rugby Bulges.” And they capitalized each word like it was the formal version. I wonder if I would show up in the lower case version of the search.  Seriously, what do they do with that info when they find it? It can’t possibly be informational or educational? Can it? I guess if you’re a Rugby Coach or that crazy girl who has the sex toy parties where she sells her wares, but there’s just no sense to it otherwise. Who would find that arousing? Our African housekeeper Happy who stormed into the kitchen while I was frying eggs one morning and demanded that I take off her Neon Yellow Leather Mumu immediately!  It was laying on the couch and I only put it on because the air conditioning was so high and I was cold.  I was only wearing underwear but she insisted so I took it off and continued cooking my eggs as she sat there watching me. I didn’t mind too much because that leather Mumu was starting to stick to the back of my thighs and God only knows how she must have sweat in that Mumu all summer. In all seriousness, is a leather Mumu ever a practical fashion choice? And neon yellow – what does that even match? Do you need to dry clean it? You can’t possibly put that in the washing machine – what cycle do you use for that?…That’s really not the point, but you see where I’m going with this.  

Incidentally (or coincidentally?) I also got a random comment yesterday from someone I don’t know who likes this site – maybe it was the same person?…Either way – Thanks for reading and keep checking back. Who knows, maybe the next time you search for “American Terrier banging Roommate on Coffee Table” or “Fat Camp and Sex on Snoopy’s Doghouse” it’ll lead you to this site!