So,

In the statistics feature on this site, I can see what people searched for on the internet to find my site. Some people see the link on Facebook and Twitter or get referred by Yahoo and Hotmail but yesterday, and I am not kidding, someone found my little immodiumabuser.com post while searching for “Rugby Bulges!!!”

I’m glad to know that my posts about Weezie have reached a broader audience but who knew it would have such widespread appeal!!! Also, is it weird if my first thought after seeing that was, “great, more people are reading my stuff” and the second thought was “I wonder if they liked it” and then I thought about what to have for lunch and then ate lunch and then complained because it wasn’t really what I wanted and now I didn’t feel well because I have a bad stomach and the choices of what I can eat are very bland and limiting and then like an hour later finally I wondered: Why is someone searching for “Rugby Bulges.” And they capitalized each word like it was the formal version. I wonder if I would show up in the lower case version of the search.  Seriously, what do they do with that info when they find it? It can’t possibly be informational or educational? Can it? I guess if you’re a Rugby Coach or that crazy girl who has the sex toy parties where she sells her wares, but there’s just no sense to it otherwise. Who would find that arousing? Our African housekeeper Happy who stormed into the kitchen while I was frying eggs one morning and demanded that I take off her Neon Yellow Leather Mumu immediately!  It was laying on the couch and I only put it on because the air conditioning was so high and I was cold.  I was only wearing underwear but she insisted so I took it off and continued cooking my eggs as she sat there watching me. I didn’t mind too much because that leather Mumu was starting to stick to the back of my thighs and God only knows how she must have sweat in that Mumu all summer. In all seriousness, is a leather Mumu ever a practical fashion choice? And neon yellow – what does that even match? Do you need to dry clean it? You can’t possibly put that in the washing machine – what cycle do you use for that?…That’s really not the point, but you see where I’m going with this.  

Incidentally (or coincidentally?) I also got a random comment yesterday from someone I don’t know who likes this site – maybe it was the same person?…Either way – Thanks for reading and keep checking back. Who knows, maybe the next time you search for “American Terrier banging Roommate on Coffee Table” or “Fat Camp and Sex on Snoopy’s Doghouse” it’ll lead you to this site!

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Join the conversation! 8 Comments

  1. Are you teasing the search engines with your tags?? Hilarious piece.

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  2. It reassures me that you cannot understand why someone would be searching for rugby bulges, IA. Nothing against those of alternative sexual persuasions but combining that with Immodium abuse is just not a pleasant thought. I can only assume that ‘she’ was feeling, shall we say, love-starved at the time and was hoping for visual stimulation. Conversely, it may have been ‘he’ in which case it would reinforce what all Australian lovers of Rugby League (as opposed to Rugby Union aka rugby) know to be a truth: that all rugby players are bum-sniffers as are their fans while we Rugby League aficionados are real men. Would I lie to you?

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  3. Oh crazy Happy. How could a woman who eats with her hands, literally no utensils just scooped with her fingers, have a lock on your heart?
    Atleast she didn’t steal your underwear lie and swear I was trying to get her fired, and then flash you said underware peaking out through the folds when no one else was around…

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  4. You just made my day because I had just about forgotten about Happy! Hope you have a Happy day!

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  5. Just be glad they weren’t searching for “Visible Penis Lines!!!!” and found you!!! ROFL!!!!!!

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About www.immodiumabuser.com

Funny ass blogging mofo. I write a crazy blog called Immodiumabuser.com with all my embarrassing moments put on display. Connect on Facebook (im Immodium Abuser) or like my page at Facebook.com/immodiumabuser

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No One To Blame But Myself...

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