Hello? Is it Tony you’re looking for? Here’s me and Lionel Richie this morning. I couldn’t just take a picture like a normal person, I had to try and be funny and whisper “Say you, say me…” meanwhile, I end up looking like I’m in the middle of a seizure. Too bad there’s not […]

Originally posted on www.immodiumabuser.com:
Of all the questions that people ask me about this site, nine times out of ten there is some variation of “Your poor wife, how does she do it?” as the very first question. The second question is which is the best post to read if you’re new to this site and haven’t…

Originally posted on www.immodiumabuser.com:
? People say that it’s the thought that counts when receiving gifts – but do you know who really says that? The people who don’t get the crappy gift! When you are the one who actually receives and opens the shitty gift, you never think “Oh, it’s the thought”…you think – “What…

  While trying to think up the best way to start December off with the spark it needs, it took me all of two seconds to realize that I should launch a Birthday week celebration for my little sister Marlene. Now, don’t get concerned that Immodium Abuser has gone soft on you – there’s nothing mushy to be found here. I love her, […]

When I got tickets to last week’s Papal procession through Central Park, I knew it would be a special event, not to be missed. When my friend Annie Smack That Fannie said she’d go with me, I knew it would mean we’d probably need adult supervision as she’s crazy with a capital C! We were […]

Originally posted on www.immodiumabuser.com:
I know what you’re thinking “OH God! He’s talking about religion so it will be immature and offensive and he’s crazy and I’m insulted by that. Believe it or not, it is possible for me to have a mature discussion about a serious topic. This is not it, but…

Originally posted on www.immodiumabuser.com:
Cameron, thank you for letting me know that you agree with me on the nose hair issue – I know that there is a quiet majority building out there that thinks it’s as disgusting as I do and that it’s about time we stood up and banded together. To…

Originally posted on www.immodiumabuser.com:
I am not one to start with a disclaimer, but this post might need one. Some people get really crazy about Religion and what should and shouldn’t be done with iconic religious figures, so let me say right now that if you are the type that gets easily offended…

I’m running the NYC marathon tomorrow!!!  If you haven’t donated to my fundraising cause yet and feel guilty – click here: http://www.Runwithtfk.org/Profile/PublicPage/17718 I’m sure that every one of you will be on the edge of your seats all weekend absolutely consumed by thoughts of my five borough trek, so here’s something to make it a […]

I’m shocked at the whole tutu madness from the past few days but most of all because I’m embarrassed to tell you that I didn’t even realize the honorable Desmond Tutu wrote for Self magazine…I guess his workload got a lot easier after they banned apartheid and all… What’s next? Sri Sri Ravi Shankar lashing […]

Originally posted on www.immodiumabuser.com:
The only female that can pull off white hair like this ? To say that I have a strange relationship with my stepmother-in-law is an understatement. It’s not like when I wrote Watching Dirty Movies with my Wife’s Mom but there is an awkward strain. To describe my stepmother-in-law as…

Originally posted on www.immodiumabuser.com:
This time of year always makes me think about the close family and friends that may not be with me in person any longer, but are never far from my heart. That being said, I thought I’d honor the memory of my Aunt Margie in the only way I know how! She was very special to…