Well isn’t she Sweet, Sheryl Lee Ralph liked my tweet!

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I posted my CelebriTuesdays: Dreamgirls Edition about meeting Sheryl Lee Ralph and Anika Noni Rose and wouldn’t you know it – not even a full day later Sheryl Lee Ralph liked one my Tweets!

 

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She posted a picture of her trying on her friend Gary’s crazy pink furry hat and it would have been extremely rude of me not to tell her how good it looked – so I did. And then she would have been extremely rude not to like said tweet – which she did. It’s basic math: 1 + 1 = 2 or Sheryl + Immodium Abuser = now we’re best friends.

 

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Separately from what an awesome picture it is, exactly where was Gary and his hat when I saw her? Seems like he’s been holding back on the goods and that just ain’t right – friends don’t hold back. Obviously, Gary isn’t a very good friend and the whole thing just seems a little selfish if you ask me; might be time to trade out Gary for Immodium. Most importantly what we’ve learned is that Sheryl Lee Ralph has a bag man named Gary just like Selena Meyer does and that is totally awesome!

 

 

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Sheryl, I want to be your next Gary the Bag Man!

 

 

My wife thinks the best part of this whole scenario is that anyone, nonetheless a classy wonderful woman like this, would like anything I tweet when my profile picture is so absolutely ridiculous. I take it for granted because it’s been the profile picture for so long and I don’t judge people based on their looks, but I can see how some people might be put off by the self portrait I use for my profile:

 

 

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My actual Twitter profile picture from way back in my modeling days.

 

 

Keep coming back each and every week to hear about my celebrity stalkings, I mean sightings. I’m super excited about tomorrow because Mo’Nique is supposed to be in town. One part of me wants to get a picture with her, but a bigger part of me is dying to whip out a wooden hairbrush and see if she’ll wallop me like Precious in the movie.

 

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Forget throwing a shoe at Jennifer Hudson, if I can get Mo’Nique to whup me something fierce with that brush – consider the mic dropped. Nothing can top that. obviously, my wife is in disagreement with me about the merits of this plan, but the really scary part of this is that she’s really crazy so she actually might do it!  Guess you’ll have to just come back next week and see if I got the brush off or not. Either way, Sheryl Lee Ralph – let’s keep working on our new friendship and don’t be stingy with that like button! No pressure Anika Noni Rose, don’t feel forced to like me and my tweets because Sheryl did…

 

monique

 

 

 

 

CelebriTuesdays: Dreamgirls Edition – Sheryl Lee Ralph & Anika Noni Rose!

It wasn’t a Dream when I saw these Girls! In December, I saw the star of the Broadway version of Dreamgirls – Sheryl Lee Ralph – and today I saw the Dreamgirls star from the movie version – Anika Noni Rose. As lucky as that is, even better was the fact that both pictures came out great!

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Normally, I’d be making a weird face in these pictures because I’m a fool that thinks these wonderful performers are just waiting for me to waltz on up and serenade them. The story would have been a whole lot more interesting had I strutted over purring “It’s more than you. It is more than me. No matter what we are, we are a family…” but my wife has finally got it through my thick skull after all these years that no one (and she really stressed the words as she said it) NO ONE wants to hear me sing. Lesson learned, because when I tried to explain that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, she informed me that my singing is actually mutilation, not imitation. The last time I tried to sing for my wife was New Year’s Eve 2001 when I drunkenly convinced the band that I was actually a lounge singer and would love to serenade the love of my life for the crowd. They somehow believed that nonsense and thought it was really romantic until they saw the sea of about 200 blank stares looking up at me as I mangled the first verse of “If You Say My Eyes are Beautiful.” That’s when they abruptly ripped the microphone out of my hand and said “why don’t you guys dance instead of singing” which elicited thunderous applause from the crowd for some reason. True artists are often misunderstood, but in retrospect – maybe a Whitney Houston love Duet wasn’t the right choice for my vocal range. Either way, my wife has instructed me to never, ever, ever sing in public again so the Dreamgirls were spared my Effie imitations…

 

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When I saw Sheryl Lee Ralph, she was taking pictures of the huge Christmas Tree in the lobby and I felt bad bothering her. She was really trying to get the perfect shot and must have taken ten pictures. Similar to me, the Christmas Tree was overgrown and much too wide to fit in most standard camera frames – so I don’t blame her for trying to get the right angle. . . Since she was so fantastic as Claudette on Ray Donovan, I was dying to ask what Jon Voight is really like and then I wanted to ask her about the anniversary revival of Thoroughly Modern Millie they’re doing, but she was really fixated on getting that shot of the tree. Practice makes perfect because her shots came out great – these are taken from her Instagram:

 

 

She was very cool, kind, and patient with me and also with the Christmas Tree, so I stopped myself from asking to try that fur coat on (I know I don’t need to remind you how good I look in fur)!

 

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When I saw the other Dreamgirl, Anika Noni Rose, she was hobbling around in a walking cast yet still took time to stop and take pictures with everyone. She was such a sweetheart and as a person that’s broken the same ankle two years in a row on the same exact day (both alcohol related), I can tell you how hard it is to get around. For her to stop, chat, and take pictures while she was obviously uncomfortable was seriously awesome and much appreciated!

 

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Anika is a Broadway veteran who snared the Tony Award for Caroline or Change, but was also in Cat on a Hot Tin Roof, A Raisin in the Sun, and the movie version of Dreamgirls with an up-and-comer named Beyonce and Jennifer Hudson. She also made history as Tiana, Disney’s first Black princess, in The Princess and the Frog to the delight of kids everywhere.

 

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I’m on a Dreamgirls roll here and don’t worry, I’ve started walking around with one shoelace untied for when I see Jennifer Hudson and need to get it off quick; J-HUD throwing a shoe!  Hey J-HUD – Forget The Voice and let’s get a date on the calendar to meet up: I’ll bring and share my imodium and you bring and share your Oscar and extra shoes!

 

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Three Quick Things: KAPOOYAH!!! KAPOOYAH!!!

Three Quick Things!!!
 KAPOOYAH – KAPOOYAH!!!

Three Things

1. Everyone knows I love me some Glozell and would “get me a cold pop” with Sweet Brown any day of the week – but Michelle Clark is my absolute new favorite baby girl! Words cannot accurately describe this, but suffice it to say that the new way to fame is not won on The Voice or American Idol, but local newscasts gone viral! And for those fitness fanatics looking for a good beat to run to at the gym, here’s the autotune remix now available on ITunes!!!

Glozell

2. An Oklahoma woman was arrested for trying to sell her kids on Facebook : Come on Misty! Everyone knows you do that on Craigslist, not Facebook!!!  

3. I have picked up a ton of new followers lately and they’re getting really heavy. While I put them down and rest for a moment, I wanted to highlight one that thinks my blog is “twisted and hilarious” which proves that he is obviously very smart. Peter Ellis wrote a post about possible memoir titles and hasn’t received a lot of appreciation for it which is a shameful oversight on so many levels. Click Here and let him know what you think of it. I might actually use number nine if I ever publish my memoirs!!! Well done Sir!!!

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