How have I not had the shit kicked out of me yet?

The fact that I can mosey along through life in my delusional bubble and still haven’t gotten and ass-woopin’ reaffirms my conviction that I’m either so funny and charming that it makes me irresistible or I’m so cheeseball crazy that people just assume most of what I’m saying is nonsense and ignore it…

As hard as it is to believe for anyone that knows me, I have never actually been in a fist fight in my life. Many, many, many, many times, I really should have had the stuffing knocked out of me, but by some grace of God – I have eluded the fisticuffs (although there have been a few scuffles). I never got to throw even one punch in any of them, but that’s not really the point I guess. Not even when I went up to that girl in The Dark Horse Tavern and told her that her face looked like diarrhea because I thought I was helping her out, not even a slap. Of course, I was drunk and slurring my speech when that happened, but she got my meaning and just as an FYI: if someone is trying to help you, I think you should at least hear them out! 

In Elementary School, I used to incite the…

View original post 1,181 more words

9 thoughts on “How have I not had the shit kicked out of me yet?

  1. Let’s see, I grew up in Bristol Pa. (just north of Philly) I’m a former Marine who played Ice Hockey for 19 years. Yeah, I may have had a few fistfights.

    Last time I punched somebody was 2004 at the Hockey Rink. In 2010 I came this close)( to punching a guy in Winslow Az. but, he put some distance between us.

    Punching someone is a very effective way to communicate.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s