Wanna hear something ironic? Imodium AD actually tried to stage an intervention with me!!!

Forget about the Government Debt Ceiling Bill or MTV turning 30; I have an update on a dangerous epidemic sweeping the nation that’s going shamefully under-reported by the media: The Imodium Ad shortage of 2011.

 

I first shared my concerns here in June and my wife joked that maybe my mass Imodium consumption had caused a shortage of some sorts and it appears that might be the case. After striking out in my local stores, I branched out.  Three different CVS managers and a Wal-Mart employee plus an employee from a Pennsylvania supermarket have told me that there was a recall on Imodium AD, but I can’t find anything about a recall online, in the farmer’s almanac or with Ask Asa. I doubted them because I figured that of all people, I would know if there was a recall, it’s not like they wouldn’t publicize it or spread the word. Have you ever heard of a secret recall? No – they spread the word like Officer Bird and tell people everywhere if something is wrong! That’s how things get recalled – they let people know.  And don’t tell me to get the store brand – it’s not the same! After scouring three states to no avail, I got strategic and went on the website for Imodium AD and called the Consumer Care Center at the number listed.

Before you even ask – No, I am not a crazy person nor am I a junkie looking for a fix…I’m just a concerned citizen looking for answers. OK, maybe I am a junkie looking for a fix – but this is getting suspicious and don’t judge me!  I can tell you with absolute certainty that I now know what they meant in May with all that Rapture and the world ending talk. If I’m lying in my bed, covered in sweat while trembling in fear and this is only a nightmare – PLEASE WAKE ME UP!!!

Let me just start by saying that the Imodium customer service agent was the absolute coolest and nicest lady ever! She assured me it wasn’t a recall and that it was a shortage of supply to fill the demand. Take that in and let me repeat it – it’s a shortage of supply. She was reassuring me that everything would be OK and we were on the way to becoming besties, when the call suddenly took a wrong turn and veered downhill.

Agent: “Sir, can I get your contact info and we can put you on our mailing list for coupons and then contact you when Imodium AD is available back in your area again?”

 

I proceeded to give her my phone number, address, and then told her my email address.

Agent: “Sir, can you repeat your email address for me?”

Me: “immodiumabuser (at) yahoo.com

Agent: “Sir, Stop it right now, I don’t believe that. Is that really your email address?”

Me: “Of course it is, why would I ask you to contact me and give you the wrong email address? What kind of person does that? Email me while we’re on the phone and I’ll email you back.”

Agent: “Sir, are you kidding with me?”

Me: “I’m being serious, why would I waste my time to call you if I wasn’t looking for help here? I’m not a lunatic – I just want to know when and where I can get my Imodium.”

 

I then filled her in on how I can’t go anywhere without my Imodium, take it 24/7 if I need to leave the house, how this site is a love letter to Imodium AD, and basically how it saved my life and made me a productive citizen. Needless to say, her end of the line got a lot quieter.

Agent: “Sir, how much Imodium do you take? How many have you taken today?”

Me: “5 pills”

Agent: “Sir – its 11 AM! Why have you already taken 5 pills?”

Me: “Maam, I work almost an hour from home…”

Agent: “Sir, Please don’t take any more today…”

Me: “Maam, I won’t be able to eat lunch if I don’t take anymore.”

Agent: “Sir, How many days have you been taking that many?”

Me: “Days, it’s been since 1994. I never would have been able to go to Woodstock in 1994, or college for that matter…”

Agent: “Sir, that is not OK. We do not recommend that many pills to be taken for that period of time and we don’t test on that dosage. We test on the dosage listed on the back of the box. You can be causing internal damage to your organs and…”

Me: “Maam, I’m sure I don’t even have internal organs anymore between all the Imodium, the alcohol and everything else – I’m convinced that if you were to X-Ray my body, it would go straight from Esophagus to Anus with nothing in between…”

Agent: “Sir, have you taken anything else today?”

Me: “Just some Tylenol, why…”

Agent: “How many of those have you taken and which kind?”

Me: “I took three Tylenol Extra Strength because I had a headache when I woke up.”

Agent: “Sir, Legally I now have to give you the number for Poison Control because you have exceeded the recommended dosage on those products. We also make Tylenol – do you have a pen? 1-800-222-1222. Please repeat it back to me so I know that you wrote it down.”

Me: (laughing) “1-800-222-1222 (which really is the number for the American Association of Poison Control Centers) I got it but I don’t need that number. I don’t care if you tell me that there’s gasoline or pesticide in Imodium and that it’ll kill me by New Year’s Eve – it works and I’m gonna take it either way! I didn’t call to get you nervous and I’m not looking to sue you guys or anything – I just need the Imodium to be available again!”

Agent: “Sir, this is not OK and I am really concerned. Obviously I cannot tell you not to take Imodium AD, but I must caution you that we do not test it in the quantity that you take it in.”

Me: “Listen Maam, I love Imodium AD more than anyone out there and I can guarantee that you will never find anyone more loyal to it than me. It has changed my life and I want to be the spokesperson for you. How can I get my face on the box – can you help me with that?” (we both laughed at this) “My wife wouldn’t let me send in my testimonial. Seriously, I just need it back on the shelves.”

None of these are available? What's going on?

I reassured her that I was fine and just wanted to find the Imodium and she was able to help me find 5 different locations (ShopRite, A & P, Food Emporium and 2 K-Marts) with Imodium AD in stock. Forget the Amber Alert – she had a listing of stores within 30 miles of my house along with their phone numbers so I could confirm before I went. She could tell if they had 6 packs, 12 packs, or 24 packs – unfortunately no one had the 72 packs in stock, but who was I to complain? I don’t know why the White House didn’t have these guys looking for Bin Laden, because with their pin point accuracy and precision – they could have bagged that fool years ago!
She really was a very nice lady and told me that she would go and check out this site when she got home from work that night. I’m sure she probably thought that I was a lunatic, but later that night I did see a small spike in hits… I’m sure they record those calls and will probably play my call at their holiday party so everyone can have a good laugh at my expense.

The best part was that my boss walked into my office while I was on the phone and asked who I was on the phone with and didn’t believe me when I said Imodium. He shook his head and then he looked at me like I was crazy. As he sat down to listen to me, he realized that I really was on the phone with them. He also didn’t expect (and neither did I – to be honest) that I would be on the phone for over forty minutes with them either.  

As if that wasn’t enough, I got a letter and authorization form in the mail a couple of days after the call requesting my medical records. How crazy is that? I just want my Imodium on the shelves and they want to talk with my doctors. They haven’t requested my photo for the box yet, but I’m sure that letter should come any day now. When it does and my picture on the box makes me the international face of Diarrhea – I’ll remember each and every one of you!

Imodium Letter 1

Imodium Letter 2

About these ads

149 thoughts on “Wanna hear something ironic? Imodium AD actually tried to stage an intervention with me!!!

  1. certainly like your web site however you have to check the spelling
    on quite a few of your posts. Several of them are rife with spelling issues and I in finding it very bothersome to tell the truth then again I’ll surely come again again.

    Like

    • Glad you like it and glad to connect. I intentionally placed the errors in the to make it interactive with my readers so they can catch them and be part of the dialogue…or I typed fast and need to spell check again… :)

      Like

  2. Nice post. I was checking constantly this blog and I am impressed! Extremely useful information specially the last part adafgdkgccfc

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  3. You are so funny and made me laugh. Love it. I am sorry that you need the immodium, but we all have our crap to deal with, pun intended. I will happily follow your blog. And watch for your face on the immodium box. Good luck.

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  4. Uhm… you really sound addicted there. Maybe you could get on some kind of a rehab program? Oh lordy! Peptobismal will work too but really, maybe you’re depending on this stuff just a little too much? Anything you depend on can be out from under you in an instant. Life is like that… pretty much for the fun of it I think.

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  5. Thanks for the follow. My hubby isn’t quite where you are at, but he isn’t too far away, poor lamb. You have taken something that cripples many and displayed a stupendous gift for comedy and humor. My hat is off to you. I read quite a bit of the comments and you have generated a lot of concern. It sounds to me that you know what you are doing with your particular case so I am not too worried and also to have a sense of humor such as your own indicates a big intellect. To more fantastic posts. :)

    Like

  6. 16-OCT-2013: Loperamide capsules shortage has hit the UK too. Having to go over to tablets instead. I used to take Co-Phenotrope (Lomotil) but UK supply has been none-existent for 10 months now. (Yep that’s right, the whole country has run out!)

    I suspect as well as the problems with supply chain; the number of patients switching from Co-Phenotrope/Lomotil to Loperamide hasn’t helped matters. But the UK NHS has never been great in the planning department with regards to: alerting pharmaceutical companies to emerging trends in prescribing demand for specific meds. Even when its blindingly obvious…

    5HT3 Antagonists like Ondansetron (Zofran etc) have been shown to be effective in suppressing IBS-D and also functional dyspepsia. Well worth a try; just have to get your doc to prescribe it off label. Best to have some clinical studies pre-printed to back you up. Here is a couple for anyone considering it:

    . Humphrey, P.P.A., Bountra, C., Clayton, N. and Kozlowski, K. (1999), Review article: “the therapeutic potential of 5-HT3 receptor antagonists in the treatment of irritable bowel syndrome.” Alimentary Pharmacology & Therapeutics, 13: 31–38. doi: 10.1046/j.1365-2036.1999.00003.x-i2 LINK–> http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1046/j.1365-2036.1999.00003.x-i2/full

    . “Selective 5-hydroxytryptamine antagonism: a role in irritable bowel syndrome and functional dyspepsia?” Maxton DG, Morris J, Whorwell PJ.
    Aliment Pharmacol Ther. 1996 Aug;10(4):595-9. LINK–> http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/8853764?report=abstract

    Like

      • Tell me about it! I just wish more people with IBS-D knew about the Ondansetron (Zofran) symptom-suppression benefits. It can really change people’s life’s around. I used to have to get a special script-recommendation from my Consultant Gastro to allow my GP (family doctor) to prescribe double the usual maximum dose of Loperamide (Immodium.) IE: 16 x 2mg capsules per day rather than the usual maximum of 8. Ondansetron (Zofran) really changed my life in that respect. Only on 4-6 2mg caps of Loperamide a day now; not as good as the Co-Phenotrope (Lomotil) but it keeps things under control. I can go out and do normal things without worry.

        PS: Sorry about all the generic drug names I put in my posts but: In the UK that’s how we work as the NHS rarely prescribes branded meds unless; there is a patient-specific reason in order to save money where possible. IE: If there is a problem with the patient’s digestive system breaking down some of the pill-fillers in the cheaper generics.

        ibsmostlydefeated.

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  7. Thank you so much for following me at BigBodyBeautiful, my new friend. Although this post made me laugh because of your abundant humor, I’m truly so sad about this condition that causes people to use so much Imodium. I had no idea this was actually a “thing” and I feel really sorry for all of you who are suffering from IBS and other conditions that require you to medicate to this level. That being said, only you can determine what works best for you and what is right. I wish you all the best in your healing. ~BigLizzy

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  8. I found this web site because I’ve been to 3 stores in the past week and can’t find my immodium. What is going on? (Well, they have boxes of 24, but I need the box with a lot of tablets.) I am leaving town, I need to stock up. By the way, it is not OCD to hate public bathrooms!

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  9. I don’t laugh out loud often when I’m reading things, and I definitely don’t ever say that I LOLed, but not only laughed out loud, but it brought tears to my eyes when you were describing giving your email address to the customer service agent. Just thinking of how her heart must have almost stopped as the realization crept over her. It is just SO funny!

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  10. Your blog has provided me with good bathroom reading while I’m takin a poop lol. The ironic part to all of this is that I’m currently raising an Immodium abuser in training ( you have to start somewhere). My poor son and his poor bowels. I can laugh with you and commiserate at the same time.

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  11. Pingback: Choices! | Blog It or Lose It!

  12. Thanks for the Imodium humor! Funny stuff! I just have one question… Where I can find some? Not the big huge chalky pills that make me gag, but the little blue ones that work so freakin’ great? Store brand just doesn’t work well for me and every store I go to, is out of the ‘good stuff’.. WTF, Imodium makers? HELP!

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      • You are SO right! I found on Amazon what LOOKS to be what I’m trying to find but I have a feeling if I order it, it’s going to be those chalky, gag inducing, huge yucky pills.. Yuk. Maybe I’ll contact the seller before I hit the “proceed to checkout” button…

        Like

      • Definitely crazy! I contacted the seller.. They say it’s the little blueish/greenish ones… I wonder why they have it and nobody else does.. I guess I’d better check out the expiration date when I get it!

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  13. OMG, this is hilarious. What’s really funny is that there’s been a rash of spammers following blogs – so if you’ve gotten a big uptick in followers, that might be it. And I saw your name and thought surely this is one – I mean there’s a package of immodium in your gravatar. I was informed otherwise by another blogger and wallah! Here I am on your blog. I should thank the spammers. I’ve found a fun new blog. You just never know.

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  14. RE: The request for medical forms – make sure they reimburse you well and prior to donating your remains to their research department, because they will definitely make money once they can say “Sure, take all you want – - our research indicates you can chew these like gummy bears – all day, if you want.” :)

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  15. I am officially following you! I need you in my life! I can’t believe what I am reading, but I believe you. Bu seriously, maybe you should see a doctor about this for real. You could be lactose intolerate….or something. Have you ever been tested for crohn disease?

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  16. Thanks for the follow….Had to see what this was about…then I asked myself, “what about the 2012 Liberian Olympic Team would interest an imodium abuser?” lol

    Still not sure, but again thanks for the follow.

    p.s. while your posts are intriguing, I’d def recommend cutting back on the Imodium.Too much of anything can’t be good for you. Best wishes :)

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  17. New to your blog–have you ever considered being tested for food allergies or intolerance? Maybe celiac disorder, or lactose? Still, I’m laughing–hopefully not at your expense.

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  18. Your site is fascinating, though the oddly humorousness of it aside, I am a little bit worried. Taking all that stuff can’t be good for you (as some posters here have alluded to already). Heck, too much aspirin can be dangerous, never mind Immodium AD. http://bit.ly/11Kdj7c

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  19. i really want to know when u r are the grand prize winner for the box photo! thats a lot of shitty ppl to run out of stock HA! have u checked into why it is you need so much immodium ad? :)

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  20. I have heard of Imodium AD, but I am not quite sure why you would take so much. Is there some particular benefit to doing so? I mean, I have had diarrhea before though never anything that I had to take any meds for.

    I don’t want to come off as judgmental, though I don’t understand why someone would take any drug that doesn’t clear-up whatever your issue happened to be (or at least sets you on that path) or doesn’t get you high (which is, let’s be honest, the primary benefit I get from drinking beer. Taste, body, and all that other stuff comes second).

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    • It’s a crutch…I’ afraid of the consequences…it’s like driving a car without insurance – you wouldn’t do that would you? That’s how I feel about not taking Imodium…
      About the beer – I hear ya. It is a high and I love beer too…

      Like

      • Afraid of the consequences of what? Diarrhea? I hear you, but don’t quite understand in that you could be taking aspirin to head off the eventuality of a headache, but do you? You could take cough medicine in case of a cough or Claritin for an allergy that you don’t yet have, and so on.

        That’s what I don’t get: Why is Immodium AD your poison, so to speak.

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      • I know that it sounds crazy, but if I got a headache, I could still work and commute. If I had allrergies, I could still work and commute. If I had to rely on public restrooms, I would never be able to leave the house. I can’t use public restrooms….

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      • It sounds like you have less an issue with Immodium AD (that’s not quite true, though it doesn’t appear to be at the heart of what you’re dealing with) than a phobia revolving around having to use public restrooms or the fear of losing control of one’s bowels.

        Perhaps something that relates to public embarrassment.

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      • Interesting…I have had multiple public embarassments in restrooms, so that probably factors into my far of not taking it. i haev explored some of those stories on here, but have a few more including the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to me in my life – which of course occurred in a public stall…

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      • in reply to the comments from bmn & immo,,, replies: immo, sounds like u have a case of ocd. what if there was a zombie apocalypse and you couldn’t get your drug of choice? i say face your fear of public restrooms and kick the stuff, even though your stories are hilarious. but seriously… i like that u didn’t get mad about any of the comments as well. not defensive, good character trait!

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      • Severe OCD and I’m all for a good ritual…I don’t get mad -none if it is mean spirited. I need to get over it but its crazy I know. I had an anxiety attack on a plane to Vegas once because my friend was like “what would you do if you had to use the bathroom on the plane?” And I started to think about it and freaked out. The stewardess had to give me a cold compress because I was sweating profusely.

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  21. Seriously mate, you really need to lay off this stuff and seek help with the root cause. It’s supposed to be a short term remedy, not the basis of your entre diet. I used to knock some immodium back to get through the day, not even as much as you, and ended up in hospital with my insides cramped up with spasms and blood coming out where it shouldn’t. This is not stuff to mess about with!

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  22. Thanks for the follow Immo, (my fingers got tired when I tried to type immodiumabuser so I’ll just call you Immo). Ya know, you can solve all your problems of no immodium by taking 1 heaped teaspoon of cornstarch in a glass of water with 2 drops of peppermint essence. Heaps better, heaps cheaper ;-)

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  23. ahahhaha….I just laughed out loud and scared my mister!

    Your obsession reminds me of how I obsessively have to wash my hands right after I enter any establishment: Work, Home, Gym, Restaurant, even the Doctors office…

    Immodium should have Thanked you for sending their children and employees children through college with your obsession! :)

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  24. Priceless! I can’t even put the awesomeness into words.
    I have years under my belt as an Immodiom Abuser, too – but my limit was 5 a day. One dose in the a.m. and I was usually set. I am lucky enough to be able to use the Equate brand with the same results, so I made out cheaper. Also, luck that the off brand comes in bottles of 96.
    My husband freaked out on me… he never realized Immodium came in bottles, (not just bubble packs) so, he never thought people would go through an entire bottle in a lifetime!
    Your writing is hilarious, is there a post where you talk about why you need them?
    -sg

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  25. Aaaah, you give me hope! I have long been a strict follower of warning labels, thinking my body might spontaneously combust if I take too much Imodium (really, who knows what the hell they put in that stuff that caused what they say was just a shortage, but really was a hush-hush recall!!). Knowing you have been on a steady overdose since 1994, I think I’ll stop listening to those pharmaceutical companies after all. Well done, following your…errr…gut and laughing at their worry. I enjoy your stories!

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    • I too was a neurotic follower, but once I started i couldn;t stop. I don’t know how to quit you Imodium AD!

      It’s been so long that my organs have probably rotted away from the imodium adn the alcohol…I also wonder what the shortage was – there’s nothing natural in it. It’s chemicals – not like a crop of strawberries went bad…Strange – yet it doesn’t dissuade me away from it…

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  26. I do believe that I have met my match! I received the same letter! I have called the company many times, wrote emails, and looked at every store possible, had others look at stores if they go on vacation. They keep telling me that the shortage is over and it will be back on the shelves any day now. Well it is any day now and still no relief! I am very lucky that a friend happened to look in her medicine cabinet and found an expired box! I said I don’t care! I need it!!! If you find the multi-symptom please let me know!! ~ Another loyal Imodium Lover!!! :)

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    • I know – what’s the deal right? We are forced underground like we’re looking for a fix like a junkie…It hurts me to no end…What’s the shortage? Are there natural ingredients in this? No, it’s not contigent on a crop being good – it’s chemicals. I firmly believe the lack of imodium has impacted the ecomony adn that might be the reason it’s down so much…

      Like

  27. Pingback: Tales From the Toilet « Single White Alcoholic Seeks Same

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